You must admit, when you pull a weird looking carrot from the ground you feel oddly rewarded. You ask yourself, "Why is it weird? What is it telling me?"
Some carrots are weird in ways that are not easily appreciated by the rest of us. We should be amused rather than shocked and horrified, allow these carrots to see themselves as both exceptional and significant. Afterall, weirdness always finds the right time to exercise its gifts.
Whether your carrot has only some slight befuddlement or a hideous and horrendous mutation, here at Soggy Creek Seed Co. we love them all! Weird carrots allow you to put your own style into gardening.
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Comment on the weirdness above to help the judging:
Q: Why weirdness?
A: Well, weirdness is an instrument, a wonderful mechanism, a tool for civilized society to exhibit the shinny good qualities found in change while still upholding perceptions of order.
You see we can still hold onto the idea that carrots should be straight and narrow, everybody wants comfort and if most of the carrots come out of the ground tapered and orange it will preserve order. But it's profoundly erroneous that we should cultivate only the practical habit of remarkable uniformity. Lend your hand to the weirdoes as well.
If we as gardeners take joy and laugh at the few carrots that are weird and the ones who are rude and often offensive or the carrots who are confusing -- those that curl under circumstance or grow entirely upsidedown altogether or with legs or worse -- advanced imperfection, important malfunction, incredible acts of oddity and unsuppressed divergence -- whatever weirdness embodies these creatures will rob you of your flatness forevermore --
-- If we can show all the wondering children what it would be like to be weird, leave them little scattered clues, buried, let them unearth the virtue of accidents and individuality // help all who try so hard to break out of their lives...
Now, not too many, just a few weirdos, you don't want all the other carrots to have heart attacks or think the weird carrots were somehow sent to prophetize the crack in normality before doom descends.
Just let them capture your heart, let them accomplished their purpose, their duties, let these weird carrots and all strange vegetables into your life.
Rule 1: Sumbissions must look like a carrot.